Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
