I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
