Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
