so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize