My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
