I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
