All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have post one night stand depression
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
