idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize