Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
