Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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