Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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