If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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