How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
