i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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