The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
