you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
