I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
