Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
