Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
