Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
