i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize