She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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