Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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