we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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