No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
