but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
