whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
