Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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