Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
