Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
