Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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