But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize