Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
