i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
