We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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