Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
