Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
