pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
