There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
