Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
