I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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