nutella sex= disaster
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
