1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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