so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
they're like a gay fantastic four
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
