is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
