I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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