i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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