Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize