i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
