We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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