Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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