Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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