Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
