My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
