Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize