have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
