Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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