sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
