Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
