Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think i peed on brittanys purse
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize