so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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