we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize