in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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