listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
